Grandparent Essentials

When Grandparents.com advertised its 30 essential items every grandparent should have, I paid attention. After all, who's more important than the grand babies?

Author Paul Rogers divided the essentials into 3 groups--safety, snacks, and fun.

Safety essentials included a first aid kit, emergency information, ice packs, sunscreen and more.

For snacks grandparents should keep foods such unprocessed cereals, yogurt, cut-up veggies and fruit, peanut butter, whole-wheat tortillas, unbuttered popcorn.

Include in your fun pack: sidewalk chalk, washable markers, old photo albums, a library card, a deck of cards, board games, jigsaw puzzles.

Learn more about bonding, long-distance grand parenting and investing in your grandchildren's future at 50somethinginfo.com

When A Book Isn't A Book

I looked down at the book laying on my dining room table. Well, it really wasn't a book. It was what optimism would look like if it came in 3-D rectangle.

After all, I'm heading to be with the grandkids and every minute, I suppose, is planned.

"Grandma, let's go swimming (in 60+ degree weather!)."

"Let's play Candyland" one granddaughter suggests, which really means "I intend to beat you even if I have to cheat."

"I'm hungry," the little one insists at the most inopportune times. Then we frantically search the bare shelves of our vacation spot for something that is halfway healthy and will satisfy her momentarily. I hand her a candy.

"Grandma, let's go swimming." Did I mention that the temperature is 60 degrees and rapidly descending?

No, I shall bring the book but I suppose it is more likely to become a door stop so our bedroom is light enough to scare away any bogeymen lurking about.

Check out 50somethinginfo.com for suggestions on how to be a super grandparent (or in my case, a highly optimistic, exhausted one.)

Where It's Great to be Grand: Grandparents.com

Grandparents.com always has great ideas. Just recently it featured 13 grandparents sharing outdoor summer activities they do with their own grandchildren that strengthens their bonds:

1. Run or maybe walk to the park

2. Plant a veggie garden

3. Pull that bathing suit out of the drawer and play in the pool

4. Camp in your backyard (sleep in the tent, sing, make s'mores)

5. Make your own rules to old games--get the ball over the net any which way you can

6. Smell the roses and watch the birds

7. Go take a hike--really

8. Go to the beach--boat, build sandcastles, draw in the sand, picnic

9. Climb the jungle gym and slide

10. Scavenge for art supplies in the great outdoors--find the pine cone, sticks, leaves

11. Travel to a national park

12. Go fish (not the card game)

13. Rollerblade (a little too daring for me!)

Find out more how to be a super grandparent and take advantage of the grandparenting resources in your community.

Top 10 Websites for 2009, Part 1

The volume of information on the Internet can be overwhelming.  I've reviewed thousands of web sites to find user-friendly and relevant resources for inclusion in my boomer search engine.

To compile my Top 10 list of trustworthy, informative and enjoyable sites for 2009, I've selected that sites that I've revisited many times.  I'm sure you, too, will find them invaluable this year.

1. Grandparents.com

Where it's "great to be grand"!  Grandparents.com is "the place for today's new generation of active, involved grandparents."

Find assorted age-appropriate and weather-appropriate "things to do" (even in dozens of cities), including suggestions that won't cost thrifty grandparents a dime.  Mix in travel, gift ideas (find the perfect toy), video, and food suggestions (you might be inspired to cook with your little darlings).  Take advantage of expert advice on family, education law, finance and health and get a peek into the psyche of celebrity grandparents.  You'll get a treasure trove of information.

2. Dynamic Living

Where else can you find photographed independent living aids displayed boldly and accurately? Protected by the Better Business Bureau of Connecticut, Dynamic Living consumers shop with confidence--either by use (moving around, sitting/standing, vision, communication, caregiving, memory) or by location (car, kitchen, bathroom).

I like this site for its clarity, simplicity, readability, references and responsiveness.

Two warnings:  See what other customers recommend but select well to avoid restocking charges.  Also, customer service operates Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. - 9 p.m. only.  

3. ElderLawAnswers

Get your age-driven legal questions answered here.

Elderlaw covers Medicaid, Medicare, nursing home rights, and estate planning.  Elderlaw 101 dumbs down additional topics, including veterans benefits, so you don't need to have a law degree to understand.  Find state-specific information and an attorney or listen to Elderlaw radio such as "Finding the Money to Age Well."

Staying Connected With Grandchildren

Stay connected with your grandchildren. But how, you ask? Marty Norman suggests you email, plant gardens, send tape-recorded stories, create a story with their name, provide them with a laminated list of your phone numbers and much more. You can even find her suggested gift ideas including a Vtech Kidizoom Multimedia Digital Camera (Camouflage)

This is one lady who aims to impact the lives of her grandchildren. Luckily (for us) she shares her advice in Generation G: Advice for Savvy Grandmothers Who Will Never Go Gray

You don't have to burden your brain to create ideas for developing wholesome relationships with the kiddies. Marty does it for you!

It Takes Energy Being a Grandparent!!!

When can you become a Grandma, princess, and doggie within seconds?  When N turned 2 last week and received a "magic wand,"  she got the hang of it really quickly.  All she had to do was press the button and the fairy music accompanied an imaginary transformation.  I'd act like an exaggerated Grandma or curtsy like a princess or bark like a dog.  She had all the power.  I was her servant and gladly so because I lacked sleep from the night before and this activity required little energy (I could practically handle it sitting down!).

Then 4 1/2 year old H pulled me out of my bliss.  

"Grandma, chase me (among two words grandmas, especially tired ones, fear the most).  We want to play with the grandkids but sometimes feel really sluggish.  Guess it's time to get back into a diet and exercise regimen!

When You Can't Get Together For The Holidays

You think it's easy getting together for the holidays, right?

Wrong.

For some, "step" is the optimal word.  Besides "real," "half," "adopted," there are more steps than the Empire State Building: Step-parents, step-siblings, step-children, step-grandparents, step-grandchildren, to name a few.  

Seeing all of them at one time of year often feels overwhelming if not impossible.

So how can you make this holiday season easier on everyone whose allegiances and distance separate them?

With Skype, you can talk with anyone, anywhere in 28 languages and if everyone is registered with Skype (it's free!!!!), then your calls cost bupkes (frei, libre, nothing).  Your calls originate and take place at your computer and you can chat with up to 100 people or conference call with up to 9 others.

Once you've mastered the simplicity of Skype, move on to free video conversations (you can even watch baby Levi or Ilana take their first steps!). In order to view your family and friends far away, however, you need to purchase a webcam.  Count on tech reviewer CNET to base their ratings on whatever your priority:  price, popularity, manufacturer, editors picks, user ratings, and product features.  Just make sure one of their recommendations  (at $52.76 after a $20. rebate) is compatible with your PC or Mac.   

Now is your opportunity to show off your creativity.  YouTube helps you make and broadcast videos around the world.  Go to CNET to compare camcorders but be aware that the costs widely vary. 

Who knows?  Maybe there's another Steven Spielberg budding inside one of you right now. (If so, don't forget to give me honorable mention in your credits!!!). 

Dealing With Death

I used to get depressed this time of year.

I'd fixate on all the people who lost someone (family member, friend, pet) who they loved and how the holidays for them would be especially painful.

Frankly, I don't know what brought me out of the funk (but probably it had something to do with Car-man).

Now I'm faced with questions from my granddaughter about life and death. She measures impending doom by gray hair and wrinkles. But we all know that those aren't necessarily prerequisites for sudden death.

How do you soften the blow of first loss?

As I librarian, I'd recommend a couple of books which were popular at the time, The Fall of Freddie the Leaf and The Tenth Good Thing About Barney.

Maybe you have some other suggestions for our readers?

Grandma Gifts for the Holidays

Hey, Mom.  Stop reading now or your presents at the holidays won't be a surprise.  I'm always wondering what to get you and I've wised up and have kept lists (not bad for your slow learning kid).

Here are a few suggestions for those of you out there who are as clueless as I am: 

1. I was on my way with "Car-man" to deliver a new car out of my town.  I listened to a blurb on the radio about identity theft and how people leave important information (credit card numbers, signatures, bank information) in their trash only to be swept up by the unscrupulous.  How about giving mom a paper-shredder.  Okay, so it's not gift-like but you've got to admit it is practical.  An inexpensive one (less than the ones you see here) will do just fine.

2. Software for her computer:  Maybe a great game or two (Bridge, anyone?).  Make sure the program matches her PC or Mac.

3. Play tennis, baseball, golf, bowling and boxing with Nintendo Wii.     Wii Fit adapts the practically ageless fun and entertaining game machine which attaches to your tv to give you lessons on yoga, balance, and strength.  It's even great for when the grandkids and great-grandkids come over.

4. An over-the-bed table on casters.  Mom can comfortably have her morning coffee and newspaper (or crossword puzzle) in bed.

5. A funky new tote.  Use it for shopping, save those plastic bags, and do your part for saving the earth.

6. Donation to a charity in her honor.

7. Lessons on the computer, on the golf course, or in the kitchen.  Find someone who can "talk" in her language.

8. Give her kitchen or bathroom some new class with different hardware for the cabinets.

9. A baker's edge baking pan so all her brownie pieces have crunchy (not burnt or gooey) edges, a really cool gift if you want mom to make YOU brownies!

10. Swivel seats can make getting into and out of cars easier.

11. Towel warmers.  What could be better after a hot shower than a toasty towel awaiting you?

12. Floor standing magnifer lamp.  When vision isn't what it used to be, you can "see" your puzzles, books, and needlework effortlessly.

Happy holidays!

Best Websites of 2008 Continued Again and Again

If you wonder how mentally stable you are (this is easy for me--I'm not), try out Psych Central. Here you can take a "Do I Need Therapy" quiz. Find out the strength of your relationships and what kind of personality you have.

Desperate people take desperate measures to come up with gadgets to solve everyday problems.  Check out African ingenuity.  

Lay your gift-giving anxiety to rest for your grandchildren.  Check out picture books for the little ones and fun stuff and beautiful stuff for your discriminating pre-teen or teen.  

Are you always looking for ways to entertain mom and dad while you attend to other things?  University of California at Santa Barbara has come to your rescue with its collection of some of the oldest music and sound recordings, including vaudeville.

Telling Your Story

I wonder how many precious stories are lost because people don't have the skills to put pen to paper.  Maybe some people think their narrative would be of little interest to others.  Maybe the embarrassment of not picking up the basics of grammar, spelling, or punctuation in school is preventing them.  

Sad, I think.  I'd relish reading about a family member's actual thoughts, hopes, desires or events (or listen to them) in ANY form than have them vanish for all time.  

Unlike teachers grading "What I did This Summer," I don't believe our descendants would sit in judgment over silly communication errors.  There are volumes of reasons some school lessons don't stick.  So, please.  Don't worry about rambling, about fragmented sentences, about improper use of pronouns, or even about spelling. 

A journal is a safe place to record your reflections. 

Spurred on by a conversation with an old friend, your autobiography can be completed in an afternoon.

Consider other forms for sharing your stories--like gathering the family's favorite recipes or compiling a scrapbook or album.   

I think they would be delighted to learn more about you.

At least I would.

Camping with Grandchildren

It takes a long time to recover from camping with granddaughter Haley.  

Ok, so it really wasn't "camping."  I guess staying in a hotel room and eating in a food court at Yosemite Lodge doesn't qualify.  But it may be the closest I'll ever get to the real thing!

For all those other grandparents out there of squeamish nature, this is what I learned when Haley and I went to Yosemite:

1. Discuss bears and their yen for human food prior to your trip.

2. Don't expect to do much sightseeing (even if those magnificent waterfalls are only a stone's throw away) when a swimming pool is beckoning your 4 1/2 year old grandchild.

3. Gourmet dining and healthy eating in food courts?  I don't think so.

4. Dirt is okay.  So are puddles.

5. Don't call housekeeping until you are absolutely positive that blankie didn't run off with the local ranger.

6. If a tour bus driver responds to your emergency pleas with, "Is it pee or is it poo?"  Always respond, "Pee" even if you suspect otherwise.  

7. Go to sleep when your grandchild does.  You'll need the energy.

8.  Have fun.

Grandma's Theater Instructions

Last night I took my 4-year-old granddaughter to see "Annie." We arrived after our dinner date at a pizza parlor.

Armed with garlic breath, a feisty kid, and her devoted blankie, I made my way into the auditorium. Convinced that the villain (Rooster) would "get her," Haley planted herself firmly in the back row. Grandma countered that our tickets assigned us seats in Row H, well towards the front. I picked her up and carried her past several ushers, stepped on not a few feet, and plopped us down at the prearranged location.

Haley was convinced that Rooster (aka "bad guy") couldn't pluck us from our mid-row hideout. She carefully tucked "blankie" into my purse (I brought my big gold one for this reason only) where she could reach in to rub the satin binding for reassurance.

At 4 you're not much of a veteran play-goer. But at 4 you're not much of a vet at anything.

Haley was a champ, however. She needed little reminding about not kicking the seat in front of her. She kept her voice at a semi-appropriate volume. And she didn't complain (too much) when a head blocked her view.

For all you grandmas out there contemplating taking your grandkids to the theater, check out my tips:

Go potty (both of you) just before the play. It goes faster if you've already discussed why you use those paper thingies.

Don't drink too much (see above).

Arrive when the candy counter is camouflaged by customers.

Carry kleenex for those unanticipated sneezes.

Don't forget blankie.

Plan for company on your lap.

Have fun.

One of Life's Surprises: Grandparents As Parents

You've raised your kids.  They're out of the house.  Married (or not) with children.

Peace, you think.  Time to do all the things you've wanted to do but didn't have the time or money.

Then the other shoe drops.

The once-happy couple are now bitter enemies.

Your offspring are again nestled in their childhood sanctuaries...accompanied by your three grandchildren.

Nowadays it isn't uncommon for grandparents to revert back to parenthood, one that now merges the normal trials and tribulations with the age-old grievances of menopause, arthritis, high blood pressure, and fatigue.

Cousin Shirley is a grandma to 4 extremely cute and rambunctious youngsters.  After 23 years of managing hundreds of children, often on her own, this recently retired Kindermusik teacher has some well thought-out suggestions to share:

1. Rarely do for a child what they can do for themselves

2. Provide structure and routine

3. Look for the good; do not respond to the bad

4. When fighting over toys, remove the toy

5. When fighting with each other, remove each child to a separate room

6. Insist on good manners and a pleasant voice

7. Let them choose from a variety of good food

8. Eat with them

9. Tidiness counts

Children are made readers on the laps of their (grand)parents (Emily Buchwald)

After monitoring 15 four-year olds artistically gluing green heart-shaped doilies in honor of St. Patrick's Day, I sat on the floor surrounded by eight of them eager to hear the story I planned to read to them.

I briefly flashbacked to Ben Ari, a drama coach who taught me to read with emotion beginning with the Bible and moving on to the Gettysburg Address as well as astounding legal arguments given by Clarence Darrow.  I lovingly credit Ben Ari with my ability to captivate the attention of thousands of pint-sized listeners and their older counterparts.

Luckily, I have always been particularly fond of illustrated children's books.  I marvel at how authors and illustrators use few or no words accompanied by clever illustrations to convey a whole story.

Zoom by Istvan Banyai is one of my favorites.  What makes this volume extraordinary is that it relates to all ages.  Many life situations appear somber close up.  But when you move back, the issue takes on a whole new perspective.

Judith Viorst's books can provide the basis for meaty discussions.  Patricia Polacco delves into much of her rich family backgound to spin delightful tales, one about her ol' man and another about herself struggling in school.  

The Three Little Javelinas by Susan Lowell gives a new twist to a familiar story.  Jan Brett's illustrated books have been called "visual feasts."

If you know any budding gymnasts, they might delight in Mirette on the High Wire by Emily Arnold McCully.  Mischief makes might learn a thing or two from the spitball story in Fables by Arnold Lobel.  Young believers in the unexplained would appreciate Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig.  I love Sweet Clara and the Freedom Quilt by Deborah Hopkinson.  

And finally, a friend of mine, Michelle Shapiro, illustrated a very sweet, sure-to-delight rainbow book by Jennifer Ericsson entitled A Piece of Chalk.

Go to the library.  Look for Reading Rainbow, Caldecott, Charlotte Zolotow, Parent's Choice, and American Booksellers Association children's illustrated winners.

Check out an armful of books and be prepared to spend precious time with your grandchildren. 

Appropriate Activities for Grandparent and Grandchild

I woke up in the middle of the night to a belly laugh and then the trembling of someone trying to stifle his hilarity.

I turned to Bob and asked what he was dreaming.

"We were at an amusement park. You were pushing (barely one-year-old) Nicole’s stroller and stopped to ask if I noticed anything different about her. I looked around the side of the stroller and saw our smiling granddaughter with dyed blue spiky hair!"

Okay, I admit that even in real life I’ve been known to do wacky (I prefer “creative”) things but I’ll spare you for now.

Should you want to know what you might do with your grandchildren that is more suitable, visit some of these websites for tips:

• For safety-tested fun activities, visit Noodle Head


• Dr. Mac Music provides children with entertainment as well as lifelong tools for getting along with others


• Ideas for Grandparents entertaining their Grandchildren


• And for great gift ideas visit the parenting site, SBparent
  

Now excuse me, please. I need to go to the bathroom to try to remove some of this blue dye from my hands.