Financing Elder Care

Eliminate one worry. Think about financing elder care before you need it. Long-term care insurance may be cost-prohibitive.

1. Find out if your loved one is eligible for government resources such as Medicare, Medicaid, the PACE program or Veterans Aid & Attendance.

2. A reverse mortgage is available for 62+ year olds. This releases the home equity on the property to the owner(s) as one lump sum or as multiple payments. The obligation to repay the loan is deferred until the owner dies or the house is sold.

3. It may be possible to borrow against a life insurance policy to fund long term care. The payment arrangement can vary so weigh the costs and benefits before taking this measure.

4. Discuss ahead of time how siblings can help defray the costs.

A Must-Have Respite Care Website

Get the help when you need it.

Respite is a service in which temporary care is provided for an adult with disabilities or with chronic or terminal illnesses.  It can occur in or out of the home for any length of time, depending on the needs of the family and available resources.  

Some states require licensing for respite providers so be vigilante about doing background and qualification checks.  Don't assume that companies or agencies, even, have done them.  Here is a quick checklist to use when considering a provider:

1. Telephone screening and interview

2. Ask for references and check them, especially criminal background

3. Conduct a personal interview

4. Evaluate costs and financing

5. Write a contract that provides specific details

Find and keep good respite providers because you need a break!

You can easily search the National Respite Locator Service simply by specifying your state or province, age of the person required care and the kind of care needed.  For instance, you may check up to 3 of the following conditions:  dementia, chronic illness or stroke, frailty, hearing or visual impairments, physical disabilities, etc.

Also, you may want to take advantage of the National Adult Day Service Association's Directory.

Genworth's 2009 Cost of (Long-Term) Care lets you compare costs in your state or region with other areas.

Should you want even more information,  see 50somethinginfo.com.  

End of Life Decision Making

Lynn Hudson's mother didn't want to go to a hospice.  Nor did her family want her to remain in her own home.  The best option, they agreed, was that Yiayia at 98 years of age and succumbing to cancer would live her final days with one of her daughters, son-in-law and her triplet teen grandchildren.  

This is what Lynn graciously shared with me about overseeing her mother's end of life care:

1. Be clear about your parent's death wishes.

2. Provided they have the mental capacity to do so, the patient/parent should have enough information so that he/she can decide how they want to proceed (for instance, ice chips can prolong life.  Moistening lips can keep the patient comfortable).  

3. Get all affairs including finances in order.

4. Discuss any unfinished business and unresolved feelings.

5. Make them comfortable (take advantage of various comfort aids).

6. Provide privacy (in crowded quarters, curtains can be hung).

7. Call in the clergy for final rituals and check out books on spirituality at the end of life.

8. Understand that the senses such as hearing may become more pronounced near death.

9. Grant loved ones private time with the patient.

Read what therapists Rosemary Lichtman and Phyllis Goldberg have to say.

Also, www.50somethinginfo.com has an enormous amount of information about death and dying.  Check it out.  

Tips For Caregivers Who Need Love Too

Care giving is physically and emotionally exhausting.  Lynn Hudson, my hairstylist, oversaw the last months of her mother's life.  This is what she shared with me about end of life care: 

1. Be conscious of burnout:  Enlist the help of family members and hired help.

2. Take advantage of all the aids to make the patient more comfortable.

3. Keep visitors on the premises for no longer than 10 minutes (it's easier on both the caregiver and the patient)

4. Know what to expect ahead of time.

5. Be aware that rituals may feel calming.  

Should you want to know more about this stage, consider asking therapists Rosemary Lichtman and Phyllis Goldberg.   

Or if you want to know everything you need to know about caregiving, visit www.50somethinginfo.com.

Top 10 Websites for 2009, Part 2

This is a continuation of the top 10 websites I think you will find most helpful for 2009!

4. Nolo

Another great site for age-related legal advice is Nolo.  Accalimed as the "best legal self-help site on the web" (Yahoo!), Nolo defines legal terms in simple common language, not legal gobbledygook.  This is where I take advantage of handy checklists and related articles in all aspects of law--and it's free!

5. CNN's Money

CNN's Money has long been one of my web darlings.  Money 101 explains money in a way that even a 10 year old could understand and the spacing makes the text extremely readable.  For more difficult concepts, refer to the videos.

I head straight for the "Ultimate Guide to Retirement" for practical advice relating to investing, IRAs, work, health care, pensions, insurance, estate planning and Social Security.  Find out where and from whom you can get help.  Education yourself, make plans and put your worries aside.

6. Caring Connections

When I was assembling my Boomer Search Engine, I repeatedly came across Caring Connections.  I found that the National Hospice and Palliative Care Ogranization (NHPCO) created its dynamic website to expeditiously drive caregivers and patients to the information they want so that they can make the best decisions given their circumstances.

The information is comprehensive and straightforward.  Find glossaries, checklists and organization tools.  Take advantage of downloadable brochures and fill out your free state's advance directive without delay.  

Helping the Caregiver

Oftentimes parents are reluctant to leave the familiarity and comfort of their own home even if they are aware of their incapacities. Numerous assistive devices and services are currently available to help to deal with eating, dressing, bathing, grooming, toileting, mobility, and taking medicine.

But what if they can no longer function in all the areas with or without assistive devices.

Wouldn't it be nice if all the services you could possibly want for mom or dad were listed in one place? This way you could indicate exactly what you'd want a caregiver to provide so your parents could remain where they are most relaxed, at home.

Well, good news!

At the website for Home Instead Senior Care duties are divided into three categories: companionship services, home helper services, and personal services. According to this company, all caregivers are thoroughly screened, extensively trained, insured and bonded, matched to your preferences, and reliable.

I don't have personal experience with Home Instead but I approve their professionalism. It appears that this company can also serve the unique needs of those suffering Alzheimer's or dementia by maintaining a safe environment, managing changing behaviors, providing mind-stimulating activities, and creating social interaction.

Should you choose to be the primary caregiver yourself, use an informative website which offers ways to cope with your own stress including getting respite (relief) care.

Be sure to check out benefits your parents may qualify for.

Benefits You or Your Parents May Qualify For

Feel like the middle of an Oreo cookie? Congratulations. Welcome to the sandwich generation.

Our kids may still need our help but so does mom and dad. The free time we anticipated is slipping through our fingers. Hobbies and travel are thrust to the back burner replaced by time-consuming dilemmas concerning parents' housing issues, medical conditions, and caregiving. And to make matters worse, funds stashed away to cover these impending expenditures are shrinking at a frightening pace.

We don't know where to begin to seek the assistance. We are justifiably anxious that our retirement funds will be in jeopardy should we accept this daunting financial burden.

Here are a few places to begin your search:

AARP has an internet tool which finds low or no-cost state and federal public benefits programs for qualifying older Americans, private prescription drug programs offered by pharmaceutical companies or Medicare RX extra help.

To target specific benefits, use the Benefits Quick Search. You may even tap into some of your state government's offerings to see if any program is applicable and available.

Be aware of the top 10 signs that indicate if a senior is in need of housing assistance.

The Housing and Urban Development provides financial assistance resources and guides. Should you opt to speak to a HUD-approved housing counselor, one is only a phone call away.

Medicare Interactive is a one-stop source for federal and state information about health care rights, options, and benefits.

There may be extra help from Medicare to help reduce the costs for prescription drugs or consider tapping into 475 public and private programs which offer assistance to patients who don't have prescription coverage.

AARP provides information on low-cost public loans which include reverse mortgages, deferred payment loans, and property tax deferrals.

The Department of Veterans Affairs provides a booklet which states eligibility for healthcare, home loans, education, life insurance, mental health, and memorial and burial, etc.,benefits for veterans and dependents.

These are just a few places to begin getting the help you need. I wish I had the magic wand to answer all your questions. If you let me know precisely what you want, I may be of further assistance.