Unsolved Crime: Oscar Silent About Theft

Here stands the accused: Oscar Levine (birthdate 1/29/08)

Gender: Male

Sex: No (neutered)

Height: 10 inches

Weight: 12.5 lbs.

Eyes: Dark Brown

Hair: Mostly white

Nose: Black

Outstanding features: Tongue sticks slightly out of mouth

Crime: Theft

Upon entering obedience class (exhibit #1), the accused was judged to be "uninterested in treats," thereby making the job of training him more difficult. He sneered at the pricey chicken jerky and barely tolerated the beef jerky cut in pea-sizes and placed in a nail apron from which the treats would be fed to said dog upon completion of a satisfactory response to, let's say, "sit."

Given his unsavory background (he was rescued from a shelter) and much to the surprise of both owners and trainer, Janet Bourque, he responded well to commands. Granted he was lavished with abundant praise ("you are the best dog ever," "you can chew on all the slippers you want," "the backyard is yours and yours alone"), he heeled and sat.

Fast forward to yesterday: Owner reported that the said dog's goods which were on the outside table next to the front door were disturbed. Owner took all items including nail apron filled with treats and placed them into a shopping bag on a low ledge in the kitchen.

This morning the nail apron was found on the master bedroom floor sans treats. The kitchen floor is littered with treat crumbs and owners are tempted to surround the crime scene with yellow tape until investigation is complete. Suspect was last seen walking around the house with a chew stick (part of the treat package) dangling from his mouth. Both owners deny any involvement. Suspect was informed of his rights but declined legal representation.

For more on pets, visit 50somethinginfo.com

Malia and Sasha Obama Aren't the Only Ones

Older folks love their dogs too, not only for companionship but for assistance as well. Many studies have shown that an appreciative, loving companion brings joy into and may even prolong their lives.

If you're considering adopting a pet, do your homework first:

1. Check out older dogs--often they are mellow and happy enough just resting at your feet or putting a head in your lap.

2. Consider the dog's energy level and how it compares to yours.

3. What are the policies of the place where you live concerning pets?

4. Are you up to caring for a pet?

5. Make plansfor your pet should he/she outlive you.

Finally, should Fido do the unthinkable, know what to do.

Best Websites of 2008 Continued

Time invites the rest of us to vote for our favorite website among the 50 presented.  Here's my boomer-slanted take on some of the choices:

Free Rice and Web Sudoku are already famous among people-in-the-know. Improve your vocabulary, test your problem-solving skills, feed the hungry, and entertain yourself for hours and hours.

Find the right pet for you in Petfinder.  Auntie Peggy found the cutest Yorkie. Make sure you can pass their 3rd degree so that you're not disappointed.

I'm a nut for genealogy (you mean a stork didn't deliver me?).  So is Cousin Larry, thank goodness, because we have the same relatives on both sides (my dad's sister married my mom's brother--and yes, that's legal).  Geni is your headstart on growing your own family tree.

ProFootballTalk wouldn't be one of my favorites but my son would kill me if I didn't let other fanatics in on his little secret.

Do-it-yourselfer alert:  Look no further than HowCast  for videos and step-by-step instructions (from people like you) relating to arts, media, crafts, environment, health, mind & body, personal care, pets, etc..  I love the sorting system--you can select videos and guides by "Most Viewed," "Most Recent," "Top-Rated" (I liked "How to Get Rid of a Hickey"), "Top Favorites," "Most Emailed," and "Most Discussed."

Is that you I hear crying out there?  You mean you, too, have been dealt the cruel financial setbacks by the economic mess we're in?  Check out Mint.  Here you'll get the tools (free!) to brush up on personal finance, money management, and financial planning.  

Cats Do the Darnedst Things

I'm not really a cat person. It goes with my thinking...if you really love dogs (I do), you can't really love cats. Or if you really love ice cream (I do), you can't also love frozen yogurt.

But once I viewed this video . . .

. . . I may consider a feline roomie.

Cousin Andrea and I used to spend precious time arguing whether her cats or my dog was the more intelligent. I'd call her apartment, get her voicemail, and claim that I was certain her cats could hear my message but were so intellectually-challenged, they couldn't even pick up the phone and say something. Even if they were smart enough to answer the phone but ignored me, then they were obviously ill-mannered.

The truth is:
I don't like animals around which are smarter than I.

Take the neighborhood crow, for instance. I have not liked crows ever since I saw Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds." But just so long as they stay out of my way, I can put up with them. This crow, however, found my pristine fountain (in a city full of fountains) and he likes to wash his food in it. Everyday I find myself fishing soaked bread crumbs out of the upper trough.

Yesterday I spotted the bird landing on the fountain. I called out to Bob to scare him away. Unfortunately, Bob isn't very threatening.

So I've devised a plan to mount a fake owl or some shiny strips of paper (maybe even a scarecrow) on the fountain. But deep down I know who's going to win.

And it's humiliating.

I'll stick with a dog.