Saturday, July 23, 2011

Unsolved Crime: Oscar Silent About Theft

Here stands the accused: Oscar Levine (birthdate 1/29/08)

Gender: Male
Sex: No (neutered)
Height: 10 inches
Weight: 12.5 lbs.
Eyes: Dark Brown
Hair: Mostly white
Nose: Black
Outstanding features: Tongue sticks slightly out of mouth
Crime: Theft

Upon entering obedience class (exhibit #1), the accused was judged to be "uninterested in treats," thereby making the job of training him more difficult. He sneered at the pricey chicken jerky and barely tolerated the beef jerky cut in pea-sizes and placed in a nail apron from which the treats would be fed to said dog upon completion of a satisfactory response to, let's say, "sit."

Given his unsavory background (he was rescued from a shelter) and much to the surprise of both owners and trainer, Janet Bourque, he responded well to commands. Granted he was lavished with abundant praise ("you are the best dog ever," "you can chew on all the slippers you want," "the backyard is yours and yours alone"), he heeled and sat.

Fast forward to yesterday: Owner reported that the said dog's goods which were on the outside table next to the front door were disturbed. Owner took all items including nail apron filled with treats and placed them into a shopping bag on a low ledge in the kitchen.

This morning the nail apron was found on the master bedroom floor sans treats. The kitchen floor is littered with treat crumbs and owners are tempted to surround the crime scene with yellow tape until investigation is complete. Suspect was last seen walking around the house with a chew stick (part of the treat package) dangling from his mouth. Both owners deny any involvement. Suspect was informed of his rights but declined legal representation.

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