Law-girl and friend attended a conference last weekend. She came home to this scenario.
Drink-boy and his mom, Sherry, were "holding down the fort" (Drink-boy doesn't like to be alone) and doing some painting (Thanks, Sherry).
They locked themselves out of the house.
Drink-boy determined that his 237 pound (but slimming down) body could shimmy up the drainpipe to the open window on the 2nd floor.
At some point he flew off the pipe, landed in the bushes and knocked himself out.
Sitting on the back porch, the next door neighbors witnessed the whole thing in disbelief.
Drink-boy wakes up to his mom and the entire family (teenage kids included) over him.
Once they determined that Drink-boy was okay, next door neighbor lady (Bonnie) said,
"Drink-boy, did you lock yourself out of the house?"
Next door neighbor man (Chris) said,
"You know. You can't climb up the side of your house. You're too old for that, and well, you could die. Let's go get Marshall (his next door neighbor) and borrow his ladder. "
"Oh, and you can give your neighbors a key in case you get locked out or if you go on vacation, we can check up on things."
Next door teenage boy continued,
"And I can eat out of your fridge."
Moral of the story: Keep lots of food in your fridge. And discuss safety with your kids. Again.