Baby Boomer VS. Telemarketer

The phone rings. Another telemarketer pushing some candidate or issue in this upcoming election.

What has this world come to? Not only are we bombarded with what we “must have,” how we can “switch to,” how we can “help ourselves” or even “earn more,” the telephone has become the instrument of well, shall we say, the whole world?

I personally hesitate to pick up the receiver when I don’t recognize the phone number. Not that I’m a big talker anyway but I have neither the time nor desire to listen to a promotion.

I particularly dislike the taped messages which pause after saying hello so that you think you are speaking to a real person but find out only moments later—after you’ve carried on a two-minute one-way conversation-- that you’ve been duped into one more programmed phone call.

“If you want this, ‘press one,’” they say. “If you want sjdfsjkssfjw?!, ‘press 37.”” By golly, how’s a regular person supposed to pick a chocolate from an assorted See’s candy box, concentrate either on a crossword puzzle or the daily talk show or both, AND listen attentively enough to decide on the correct extension? My days of multi-tasking are gone.

So . . . for those of you who are as impatient as I am, try using the “Get Human” database. Follow the instructions on how to get a human voice at participating companies. And if you are alerted that your phone call may be recorded (by a recorded voice, of course), don’t hesitate to mention how grateful you are to have the unique opportunity to chat with a living, breathing 2-legged member of our species.

For those of you who crave some See’s candies, get your fill at Sees.com!

For those of you who pine for mental stimulation with the ultimate goal of being able to walk and chew gum at the same time, try a puzzle at about.com where you can find crossword puzzles and other games.

For those of you who want to bypass rap, new age, pop, rock, and classic country, try the “Find a Prime Time Station" at AARP Radio Home which is devoted to age-related issues.

And for those of you who simply want a walk on the funny side, visit Funny2.com.