Friday, March 30, 2012

In Her Final Days

Sorry, dear readers. I've been busy.

Mom is in her final stage of lung cancer. I feel like a part of me is dying with her. Thank goodness our town has unbelievable hospice services since both my husband and I have been down for the count with a virus.

If you are in a similar situation:

Use palliative and hospice services. They accept Medicare and make the whole process for both the patient and family easier. This is not recuperative care--it is comfort care.

I don't recommend the cots they can put in hospital rooms. I think they are meant to put you there but when a dear one feels better about having you beside her, be aware that you can probably get one in a pinch.

I am preparing myself for the inevitable. Mom has already told me what she wants for her funeral. But I wish I could capture her essence. Maybe if I had a video of her beautiful smile while telling the stories I've heard dozens of times, it would comfort me.

But mom is resting more, talking less and eating practically non-existent.

Imagine almost a century of life. The Depression, WWII, the Cold War, Korea, Vietnam and it goes on and on. Will the wars ever stop?

Now the last great-grandchild that she will meet coos at her, smiles at her and naps with her. I witness the beauty of generations, the power of legacy. I know I am one lucky lady to experience this but I can't stop dying inside.



8 comments:

Ma and Pa said...

Sue,
Just was surfing and found your blog, and you took me back a few years when my dear adopted Mom passed away of Cancer. I too had her in a hospice, they are angels. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go on the journey..

Precious picture of her with grand baby!

Unknown said...

Having lost a father, FIL, MIL, and my mother is in nursing home with Alzheimer's over 3 years now, those who love those who are dying, also die a little inside. But death, like wars, will never end---we the living are lucky to have loved so deeply and been loved in return and such love keeps a body gone, a soul within us forever to love until we too take our turn. Peace for us all.

Dale Kathryn said...

Last month I was at my ex-huband's bedside during his final days. It was a difficult time but I know that even when he was seemingly unresponsive, he could still hear. We played music he loved and shared stories about the good times with him. Occasionally he was able to squeeze someone's hand or smile and amidst the sadness there was also much laughter.

Anita said...

I assume your dear mom has passed. Blessings as you adjust to life without her.

Even as you were grieving her last days, you still posted and gave advice about things that many of us have yet to experience. Thank you.

Daryl Watterson said...

God Bless you for sharing.
You are in my Prayers

Cindy Eyler said...

sending love to you, your mother and all loved ones <3

pratima patil said...

Hope your mom must have passed away by this time. Our prayers are with you for your and your daughters future.
Check out: http://www.empowereddoctor.com/cancer-treatment

Anita said...

I hope you will return to blogging soon.

Happy Summer :)