Get Help During These Troubled Times: Self-Help Books Inspire

Associated Press writer Megan K. Scott gave her take on new books that aim to help those looking for a better job or trying to stay calm in light of our financial crisis or thinking of ways to reinvent themselves.  

One author lists the keys to emotional resiliency when you're dealt a cruel hand--like losing a child. 

Get help if you are stressed out, discouraged or overwhelmed in order to change your outlook to easier face life's challenges.  

Or if you have "money" issues, find out how to make your life exciting with whatever amount of money you have.

Worrying seems to be a natural by-product of our uncertain times.  Take M.J. Ryan's suggestion to set aside 15 minutes a day only to worry.  Then devote the rest of your day looking for new opportunities for your talents.  

A financial journalist even offers practical steps for people transitioning from paycheck to paycheck to comfortable earnings (how they are renewing ties to community and family).

Start a new chapter in your life suggests author B.J. Gallagher by finding true love, going back to school or starting a new career (Car-Man is written up in latest book, It's Never Too Late To Be what You Might Have Been).  

A recurrent theme:  Taking full responsibility for your life and quit blaming others.  Only then can you take the focus off the negativity and put your energy towards solving problems.  

Toastmasters: Facing Your Fears and Doing It Anyway

Today in Toastmasters each member presented a toast to our club's 80 years (the 2nd oldest club in the world!).  I recalled a famous author and spokesperson who delivered her messages using some of the most exquisite words strung together that I've ever heard outside of the classic writers.  She spoke about the third chapter of our lives from 50 - 75 years as an opportunity, a time to remember and a time to make an imprint on our world.

The problem:  She read her entire speech, a beautiful discourse that could have had even more impact had she summoned the courage to speak from memory and from the heart.

After the early morning club meeting, I attended a play where my granddaughter participated as one of the crowd.  No particular attention was drawn to her and she liked it that way.  She preferred to be out of the spotlight (a contrast to her feisty, animated demeanor she displays at home). But let me tell you, I recognize how much courage it took just for her to get on the stage.  Because I used to look in the mirror and see the same fear.

Thanks, Toastmasters, for your instruction and encouragement.

Boomers Pack Audience For Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot

It was like Car-man going to Concours d'Elegance or Chef-man going on Top Chef.  

Hearing Harvard sociologist and much-acclaimed author Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot speak was like listening to the ultimate concert or a precisely-constructed poem for a "word person" like me.  

Take these phrases and let your mind go wild:

"Arc of life and learning"

"Looking back and giving forward"

"Futuristic and transformational"

"Deep gladness meets the world's great hunger"

"Their stories became their compass"

"Season in search of a purpose"

"10,000 baby boomers turn 60 every day." (S L-L)  The third chapter of life, between 50 and 75 years, is a period when we're neither young nor old, when we urgently need to get on with what we need to be.  

Top 10 Websites for 2009, Part 4: Men, Keep Out!

This is my final segment for my favorite websites for 2009, 10 websites that will change the way women boomers use the Internet in 2009.  No peeking, men.

9. 50+ Fabulous

50+ Fabulous is intended to provide a forum for women to share ideas and motive other women to go after and achieve their dreams in spite of generations of barriers.  In addition to its cadre of experts and guest columnists, this attractive and comprehensive site covers topics in timely articles such as those on life, work, love, food and wine, dating and style.

Find out how our generation of women has reinvented itself.  And reach out to like-minded women.  You're not alone.  

10.  Vibrant Nation

Stephen Reily, founder of Vibrant Nation, is a rare commodity, a man who understands women and what they want and need.  On an attractive, readable and easy to maneuver site, his all-female panel of experts assists 50+ women exchange information.  Here you can ask and answer questions, share or find recommendations or participate in a conversation.  Women can reveal their favorite things on "love it lists" or relect on things that make their lives better on "live it lists."

These 2 sites are "absolute musts" for every woman over 50.  

For more great websites, visit 50somethinginfo.com, the search engine dedicated to delivering the best of the net to boomers and seniors!

Real Heroes

It was a sight to see. We stood in our cousins' window and watched their neighbors angle their 2 small cars to fit into a garage built to handle 1 1/2 cars. Carman said it couldn't be done except maybe by some experts. But he didn't know Sue and Bob well enough to know that they weren't your usual people.

Twenty-four years ago I met Bob, a healthy, upright, hard-working, vigorous schoolteacher who embraced life.

On a winter break in New Hampshire, his life as he knew it shattered. Not only did it look like he'd never ski again, it appeared that he wouldn't be doing much of anything physically for the rest of his life. Little did we know that this person couldn't be stopped.

We'd watch him hobble down the street, struggling to take each step and maintain his balance. It was painful to watch--it had to be excruciating to maneuver. With his loving, amazing, steadfast, and capable teacher wife by his side, he continued teaching, took vacations, and earned the admiration of anyone they came into contact with.

Last May I heard that Bob took the wheelchair to new heights. With pounds off, he tackled new sports such as basketball, tennis, and skiing.

What will he do next? Who knows? But whatever it is I am certain it will be performed with zest, determination, and courage.

Kudos to my heroes, Bob and Sue R.

Passion For Life

Nancy featured an animated inspirational speaker Randy Pausch on her blog. 

This 47 year old Carnegie Mellon computer scientist recognized that he wouldn't participate in some of  life's most precious moments with his children so he condensed who he was, where he came from, and what he believed in in a 10 minute lecture.

We are fortunate to have his wisdom memorialized.  Do yourself a favor.  Watch it. Witness one man's passion for life. 

Swimming For Juniors and Seniors

You're with your grandchild.  Right or wrong, you want to influence his/her life in a positive direction, maybe help out your kids fill in the areas they don't have time for.

So you spend time (lots of it) with the young 'un.  Haley loves the pool.  She doesn't necessarily want to learn to use her arms and legs properly.  She just wants to have fun.  

In order to earn her wages, the instructor wants to make Haley water-safe--no more relying on the floaties or other swimming aids.   She urges Haley to dunk her face, float, and coordinate all her movements into a lose definition of swimming.

I want more.  You see, my mom made sure I had an excellent swimming teacher, Mr. Green. During the year he taught public school.  In the summer he taught dog-paddlers how to make handstrokes and kicking meld into perfect swimming form.  

I don't remember if I gave the teacher any flak.  All I do remember is that my form is perfect to this day.

So what if Haley doesn't like the teacher?  What if she "fires" her?  What if she makes mom's life pure hell if she doesn't cancel the lessons?

Some things are just too bad.  Some things kids just gotta do choice or no choice.  Sometimes enticements help ("Well, if you do well, we'll ______") and then sometimes it's "Sorry, honey, I know you don't want to do this" and then insist on compliance.

We're talking safety, we're talking tenacity, we're talking getting past the fear, we're talking putting in the effort, we're talking facing failure, and we're talking real life.  And in the end, they'll thank you for it. 

 

Ways to Continue Learning in the Golden Years

I anxiously awaited the Toastmasters meeting today. I hadn't volunteered to present this week so I could relax and enjoy the meeting.

When the 3 speeches and 3 evaluations concluded, the Table Topics master got her opportunity to stump several unsuspecting participants by forcing them to think quickly on their feet in response to her question or circumstance.

I imagined myself eloquently and silently answering "world record" questions posed that day to other members:
Being in a pit with the most rattlesnakes
Pulling the heaviest object
Escaping from handcuffs underwater in record time

"Susan," I heard with a jolt. "How were you able to make the most parachute jumps in a single day?"

Immediately I had an outer body experience.

I was witnessing the person painfully struggling to formulate an answer, hoping and praying that the upcoming speaker wasn't me.

"I was going on a safari," I began, "When I stopped at a 7-11 for a Red Bull and scuba gear, readying myself to observe and test-drive a camel."

Within moments I was beyond salvation. My story was getting more and more outlandish with no end in sight. I had flashbacks to stumbling my way through oral reports in high school over forty years ago.

I tried to will myself back into the security of my bed this morning fantasizing about the upcoming meeting. Going to the dentist (or being in a pit filled with rattlesnakes) held more appeal than the predicament I found myself in.

Toastmasters is delightful, educational, and entertaining. It can also be a major lesson in humility.

Eulogizing a Shirt: Improving Your Life

When I first met him last week, he described himself as previously socially inept. Now I was listening to him speak both eloquently and humorously of his old friend.

Not many people can eulogize a former shirt as capably as Colin. I was figuratively present at several events marked (literally) on the fabric. I envisioned him sharing his favorite lobster bisque with the shirt. I imagined this English gentleman deftly sipping his wine but missing his mouth as he chatted with the pretty girl at his side. I could picture his wife as judge, jury, and executioner of his adored piece of nostalgia.

Seeing his comrade not only tossed away unceremoniously but also being driven away in a thrift shop van must have made him choke up some. I could feel his emptiness upon detecting the gross absence in his closet.

Colin may have had trouble communicating before. But certainly not now.

He enrolled in Toastmasters. And it wouldn't surprise me if he availed himself of adult education classes. Or participated in some volunteer organizations. But you can be certain that whatever he is doing, its side effect is promoting better health, and giving him confidence and better self-esteem which he was so eager to acquire not that long ago.

Bravo, Colin.