Friday, March 30, 2012

In Her Final Days

Sorry, dear readers. I've been busy.

Mom is in her final stage of lung cancer. I feel like a part of me is dying with her. Thank goodness our town has unbelievable hospice services since both my husband and I have been down for the count with a virus.

If you are in a similar situation:

Use palliative and hospice services. They accept Medicare and make the whole process for both the patient and family easier. This is not recuperative care--it is comfort care.

I don't recommend the cots they can put in hospital rooms. I think they are meant to put you there but when a dear one feels better about having you beside her, be aware that you can probably get one in a pinch.

I am preparing myself for the inevitable. Mom has already told me what she wants for her funeral. But I wish I could capture her essence. Maybe if I had a video of her beautiful smile while telling the stories I've heard dozens of times, it would comfort me.

But mom is resting more, talking less and eating practically non-existent.

Imagine almost a century of life. The Depression, WWII, the Cold War, Korea, Vietnam and it goes on and on. Will the wars ever stop?

Now the last great-grandchild that she will meet coos at her, smiles at her and naps with her. I witness the beauty of generations, the power of legacy. I know I am one lucky lady to experience this but I can't stop dying inside.