A Life Crisis Can Take Many Forms: Tools To Help During a Crisis

When you're in the midst of a crisis, it is difficult to think clearly and make rational decisions. That's why it is important to have the right tools to help you get where you want to be.

A life crisis can take many forms.

You might be dealing with a long-term illness or disability.

Or your marriage might have ended.

You might have joined the ranks of the unemployed.

Or you might be suffering the devastating loss of a spouse.

Sometimes the crisis happens so quickly that you have little time to prepare.

That's when you can thank AARP for its well-thought-out escape plans. Use them. They really help. I know.

For more on stress management or grief, visit 50somethinginfo.com.

Financial Planning For Boomers and Seniors: How to Hire the Right Personal Financial Advisor

Two of the most abused words in the English language are “financial planner.” Be warned that a number of professionals wear that title even though they shouldn’t--like insurance agents and stockbrokers.

When looking for a personal financial advisor, find one who accepts no commissions from product sales. Pay by the hour, a flat fee, an annual retainer, or a percentage of your assets.

Interview the person (this appointment should be free) to see if it is a right fit.

Consult as many sources as you can including those that can be found online.

However, if you find yourself unable to pay your bills, don’t hesitate to confer with a nonprofit credit-counseling agency for free or low-cost. Consider applying for public programs, also, to get over the hump.

For more, check out 50somethinginfo.com.

Cool Down in Summer Heat

According to Mayo Clinic, heatstroke can be a life-threatening heat-related problem. Older adults are at high risk as are those people suffering from dehydration, alcohol use, cardiovascular disease and certain medications.

If you or someone you know shows any of these signs, heatstroke may be the problem:

Rapid heartbeat

Rapid and shallow breathing

Elevated or lowered blood pressure

Hot and dry skin

Irritability, confusion, unconsciousness

Dizziness or lightheadedness

Headache

Nausea

Fainting

Move the person out of the sun and into a cooler place.

Call for emergency assistance.

Cover with damp sheets or spray with cool water.

Blow cooler air onto the person.

Encourage water.

For more about heatstroke, heat exhaustion and other first aid topics, visit 50somethinginfo.com. It's better and more thorough than ever.

Emergency Preparedness: Stargazer Steps In

Because Stargazer, an online service for social good, has learned from 9/11, Hurricane Katrina and other natural and manmade disasters, it is all too familiar with what it takes to be safe.

That's why the organization is working to develop new services to help people become better prepared for emergencies. 

Simple forms and other web services enable users to document essential information, to alert others about catastrophes and to communicate with loved ones when they occur.

Here's what you can do for free to prepare for the unexpected.  Download and fill in the free forms provided  about each family member, about your household, your neighbors, and your pets.  Create a communication tree with emergency contacts including predetermined meeting places.  Make sure you maintain a list of critical supplies including a first aid kit.   And more.

Then save all this private information to your own computer. 

Stargazer offers an inexpensive service that enables you to communicate with the "outside world" to tell them how you are or what you need.   The organization can permanently safeguard your key documents and your specific emergency plans.

And should be moved to contribute time, talent, technology and money to make this world a safer place, then contact this essential nonprofit public charity.  

Elderly Safer With Tech Gadgets

I'm still part of the old school who wonders whether this techy stuff is really good for civilization. There can be no doubt, however, that at least some peace of mind for long-distance caregivers can be delivered if these devices are used to keep an eye on mom and dad.   

Kim Komando, a journalist in our local paper, reviewed some of the latest safety gadgets to preserve and protect your parents independence.

Take web cams, for instance.  Buy matching models with panning and tilting features and hook up to Skype for inexpensive monitoring.  

You may want to opt for a security camera which provides viewing and/or email and text alerts.

  

Or a two-way intercom may fit your bill.  Consider senior-friendly cell phones, panic buttons or personal emergency response systems.  

Microsoft's HealthVault or Honey HomMed's Sentry Telehealth Monitor downloads vital health  statistics where they can be scrutinized before health related issues escalate. 

Think about  home security alternatives.  

Ms Komando further suggests complete systems such as eNeighbor, QuietCare and SimplyHome (all with monthly fees and usually supervised by professionals) for additional instruments  to ensure the well-being of your loved ones and peace of mind for you.  

Finally, check health insurance policies to determine if any of these expenses can be covered.  

A Lesson in Kindness and Resilience: Dealing With Loss After The Santa Barbara Tea Fire

While the rest of us are already being guided through our 2-minute circuit training routines at ToneUp, Mady scampers in several minutes late, surreptitiously hangs up her car keys, and heads straight for the treadmill.  As one of the few regulars, Mady is consistently greeted with the warmth and humor that she herself exudes.

One morning, then two, Mady wasn't at the gym.  Word was out that maybe she lost her home in the Tea Fire.

Mady moved to Southern California in 1992 with her two teenage daughters in order to earn an advanced degree in spiritual psychology at the University of Santa Monica.  While she studied "healing on physical, mental, and emotional levels," she became deeply rooted in the Santa Barbara community where she chaired events for "people in trouble" at the Heartfelt Foundation.  This time of year you'd usually find Mady and some volunteers collecting donations and gifts, cooking for the homeless, or brightening senior lives with meals and entertainment.  

Mady's rental home became her sanctuary where she could appreciate the light, quiet, and lush landscape.  This is where she preferred to write chapters for her book in longhand.  This is where she housed her favorite shawls and belt collection.  Her garage was filled with boxes of memories--pictures, artwork, and journals by her and daughters Saskia and Stephanie.

Yet Mady was distant from extended family still living in Australia.  Often she felt alone and unsure of where she fit in.  She wondered if she mattered to other people.

Now Mady shakes her head in disbelief as she reminisces how fast the Tea Fire approached and destroyed her home.  Luckily, she reflects, she saved her computer but her "mind blanked out"--just about everything she'd normally rescue was wiped out by the immediacy of the situation.

She urges others to create a prioritized list (including location) of cherished  keepsakes and vital records in the event of a disaster.

Mady and daughter Stephanie were left homeless with few possessions between them.  But typical of Mady, she looks back on this loss reflectively.  She views the fire as a "blessing in disguise."

People have reached out to her in so many ways--with cards, email, money, household goods, and clothes.  Above all, she's felt the love and support from people she didn't even know prior to the fire.

She's learned to accept the gifts without feeling obliged that she has to give back and regards this act not only as part of her own recovery but also as a value to others who want to help but feel helpless.

She feels more of a connection with the present than ever before.  She knows she can't go back in time so she doesn't focus on what she's lost but rather on what she has now.

She realizes that there are limitations on her energy.  She now knows when to turn her energy inward even if her natural inclination is to assist others.

She's grateful that she's one of those people who doesn't overvalue material goods.

She's learned that the human spirit is resilient and can be renewed.

But most of all, Mady has learned that she is not alone.

The Financial Mess We're In

How have the recent economic and political events impacted your spirituality?  Vibrant Nation, a site for 50+ women to share information and join conversations, wanted to know.   This was my response:

As I reflect on your question, I can't help but think that God is once again testing me on my perseverance, creativity, and intelligence and I fear that I will fall short of His expectations but by golly, I'll do whatever it takes not to:

Let it hurt my marriage (money is always an issue)

Spend more than we have (resist temptation)

Use up savings (now I'm really getting nervous)

Be apathetic when I can have my say (especially at the ballot box).

You see, I am the daughter of Depression-Era parents.  My dad doesn't count as much because he lived in the country and had a home so he could trade goods and services.  But mom lived in the city and felt every minute hunger pain just like most of her community.  Consequently, she learned to use everything sparingly.  In fact, I think she was one of the first to coin "recycling" before it gained popularity.

My husband and I did all the right things (so I thought)--paid our taxes, doled out our share to charities, saved for rainy days (and there were plenty) and planned for retirement.  I'm just grateful that we decided to delay retirement and keep plugging along.  All those people who counted only on Social Security and investment income are out-of-luck and sadly (and rightfully so), extremely fearful about running out of money.

I hear my prayers loud and clear to "make this crisis end" in harmony with my friends and my parents' generation.  How sad that too many of the "Greatest Generation" has to live their final years in despair.

I can't say that I don't think of the people who took their lives when their fortunes reversed in 1929.  But ultimately I am an optimist and though I don't understand God's motives, I am hopeful something good will come out of this financial mess.  Could it be a:

Deeper understanding of ourselves?

More empathy for others?

Greater understanding of how we got to this point so that we can prevent it from recurring?

Wake up call for our government to stop giving away our jobs and save them (even if we have to subsidize them) for the down-and-outters, rebuilding their confidence and self-esteem?

Turning point for mankind to redefine and question heroism, greed, and intelligence (the wealthy and the privileged are not smarter than the rest of us--each of us need not throw away our brains and behave passively because we think we don't know as much as someone else)?

Please, God, your points are made.  You have awakened us bluntly to a mismanaged world and our need to take responsibility.  May you show compassion and not let too many people suffer.

Bankruptcy Filings Up For Seniors

One of our biggest fears is real.

Contrary to the downtrend of the under 55 age group, older Americans are increasingly facing bankruptcy.

These are the alarming statistics of bankruptcy rates released by the Associated Press:

55 - 64 years old--up 40%

65 - 74 years old--up 125%

75 - 84 years old--up 433%

According to the article, many of these people have fallen victim to escalating medical expenses and age discrimination in the marketplace.  

Maybe I can help a wee bit.

Fight age and employment discrimination.

Be aware of benefits for which you may qualify.

Know that there are employment options. 

Determine your potential financial emergencies and how much you need to set aside to cover them.  

Let's work towards cleaning up this mess, not contributing towards it.